I'm about to move, and in some ways it shouldn't even be called a move cause I'm moving across the parking lot! Regardless, I've decided this is the perfect time in my life to through EVERYTHING! Thus I spent the afternoon sorting through mountains of school work that I've insisted on keeping for the past few years. Among the notes, exams, and papers was the hand written copy of notes from my Sr. Discernment. (For those of you who don't know, the Sr. Discernment is that lovely time of life when a few hand chosen besties of yours, and a couple of professors sit down at a board table and discuss you, your life, your gifts, your strengths, your weakness etc. Its both lengthy and exhausting, confusing while enlightening.) It was during this event in my life, which occurred on my Birthday--much to my great disgust, that one of my professors stated that I do not stand for mediocracy.
As I've reflected on this insight, yet again, I realize that its true. Mediocracy really gets under my skin and drives me bonkers. I've been thinking about this subject in regards to our church today. In my opinion mediocracy has flooded our ministries, our churches, our christian schools, our camps like a bad case of the chicken pox. (If you're feeling really angry with me...its okay, thats another thing that came up in my discernment....i can sometimes make some people very angry).
So having the endlessly questioning mind that I do, I've been reflecting on where mediocracy came from? And why has it flooded the western christian world? I'm not claiming to have it figured out...cause I don't. But I do think that some of it stems from our (the current generation's) reaction to the "rigid legalism" of our not too distant relatives. Yes I do believe we need to make room for grace, I deeply believe that, and am in desperate need of grace. But sometimes I wonder if we (the current generation) use this as an all too easy excuse for our lack of self-control, our extreme laziness, and our massive fear of who we are, and who we are perceived to be.
Our actions show us what we love. They show us our priorities, but most terrifyingly they show us our idols. Those things that we love more than we love God. On Sundays we promise that we will "surrender all", "cast down our idols", "trust implicitly", but by Sunday afternoon we are caked in so much fear, anxiety and desperation that we frantically snatch back from God what we just claimed to have given Him. How many of us would stand for a friendship like that. But the even scarier thing to me is, that if we can't even trust God, how on earth are we ever going to truly trust another human being....who messes up on a regular basis. Relationships are all about love and trust. Trust is the natural bi-product of love. Therefore our lack of trust depicts to us our shocking supply of imperfect love, and our massive deficit of perfect love (God's love).
If we want to see mediocracy change in our churches, camps, schools, ministries. The change first has to start in us. Just as with humans when we spend significant time with another we pick up their mannerisms, attributes and characteristics, so too it is with God. If we want to learn how to trust, how to love, how to be loved, it all has to start with spending time with God. And I don't mean asking Him for things, I mean sitting down and telling Him what's on your heart, your mind, what is stressing you out, what is important to you. This is how love and trust work...sharing of yourself. And if you don't know who you are or what to share...ask Him. He will show you.
Sweet Father in Heaven, May you draw us closer into you, bind our fear of coming to you that we may be healed. Teach us how to love you, to trust you, to obey you. Let it Be.
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