Shrove Tuesday

Shrove Tuesday...it's here! How is ordinary time already coming to a close? I feel like we just finished advent. And here we are the day before Lent. I feel blindsided by it this year.  I've spent weeks scavenging for lent books at used book stores.  I thought I had a couple more weeks to get ready to prepare for this season. To get ready to get ready. Last night at 11:30 (which really isn't that late, but when you're getting up for an audit at 5am, you should be asleep) I jumped out of bed marched into the living room and proclaimed in a load voice that I was going to make pancakes for dinner the next night. My roommate looked at me like I had lost my mind.  I was too frazzled by the surprise of lent to even explain to her why. I felt irritated with myself for not being more prepared to prepare.

I laid in bed last night reflecting over my last week.  So many things changed last week, big life changes. And as I lay there I realized that Christ had already been preparing me to prepare. I just hadn't been aware of it.  I recall a conversation with a good friend: I was trying to explain to her the changes in my life.  How I felt like I was walking through a gate into broader pastures. That this difficult situation, that this saying "yes" to life was walking through some sort of gateway into more. I'm laughing as I sit here, sitting at the doorway, the gateway of lent, about to enter in.

In honor of Shrove Tuesday, I'm making pancakes and baking cinnamon buns.  And as I knead the dough, I think of how Christ has been kneading my soul.  Balancing all the ingredients of my life out to make a beautiful, smooth, elastic dough.  And how He is placing me in a lightly greased bowl, with a warm damp towel over it, in a warm spot so that the yeast can do its work and lighten the dough.   

And as I roll out the dough and sprinkle brown sugar all over it.  I think of all the blessings He has given me this year.  I think of my thankfulness list. And its as if every little grain of sugar represents a gift, a moment, a treasure that sweetens my life.  And as I sprinkle the cinnamon on I think of the bitter sweet gifts, the ugly beautiful, the difficult but good gifts I've been given.  And I think how much more complete a cinnamon bun is with sugar and the cinnamon.  And I give my thanks.  And so here we go, tomorrow we start lent.  We start preparing for Easter.