Let Earth Receive Her King

The clock is ticking its measured cadence. And the tinsel dances softly: the house is falling asleep.  We sang songs tonight about His coming.  About the stillness, the quiet, the divine, the holy, no noise He makes.  But my heart isn't quiet, it doesn't feel holy or sacred, my soul is restless, and the babies cry.

And we watch the same clip for the third time and I'm starting to wonder what He is trying to say to me.  Three times He has to tell me, I must be missing it. I stop singing and start listening, trying to take it all in, trying to breathe it in, to feel the holiness in the air, I feel like I'm grasping at straws. And then it comes like a punch in the face:
"Joy to the world, the Lord is come.
LET EARTH RECEIVE HER KING,
let every heart prepare Him room."

Receive.  Receive. That word that makes my chest tighten, that makes my heart beat faster, that makes my fists clench.  The word that sends me into frantic, restless furry attempting to run away and hide. I feel my body's alarms going off, like lasers and lock,s millions of them closing me off making me incapable of receiving.  Tense in fear, fear of not being enough, fear of being disappointed, fear of always having the almost and never the real deal... I want to receive, I want to take the risk but the fear is so strong.

And then, then I feel Him soften me.  He reminds me of how He came as a baby. And I reflect on my experience the day before of walking into an old childhood friend's house and being handed a new baby.  And I remember opening my hands and receiving him, of snuggling him close, looking at his tiny little eyes and fingers.  I remember snuggling him any way he wanted it didn't even matter.  And my arms grew tired but I rocked him and he snuggled right in. And I reflect on the weird experience of shopping with him and the ease and openness with which strangers just talk to him and asked about him. And I'm hit with a tiny morsel of understanding. And I realize how the baby Christ child strips us of our fears, of our intimidation and aids us in receiving Him.

And I feel my fists unclenching and my arms unfolding in a position appropriate to receive Him, I want to snuggle him in close and rock him any way He wants until my arms are so beyond tired.  And I think of the chaos and the mess of the world and I think of the ease we respond to babies and I am awestruck by the risk of this miracle again.

And I feel a little braver, and a little stiller, because God isn't asking me to be that vulnerable.  He isn't asking me to give up heaven and be reduced to the size of an infant, He is asking me to receive Him.  And isn't that what we've been doing all along in this advent season? Preparing Him room, getting ready for His arrival.  Making more space so that the King of Heaven can break into our hurts, our inadequacies, our questions, our mess of lives? Because if you ask me the earth was probably just as messy and chaotic, and Mary probably screamed when she birthed Him, and regardless of what we sing in "Away in a Manger" Jesus probably did cry and scream and maybe even have the colic that makes you stay up all night...and Mary and Joseph probably had fights, and worried about the future and the mess of it all....

and yet, everything changed.

And yes people still scream when pushing out babies, and people fight, and have affairs, and sometimes it seems like there is no peace on earth.

And yet everything has changed.

Because faithfully everything terrible is coming untrue, and where there was no hope there can be hope, and where there was no peace there can be peace, and where there was fear there can be love and truth....but only has much as I/we choose to receive it....

Lord, help me to receive you, break into my castle of alarms and locks and destroy my patterns of rejection.  Help me to receive you and all that you give me, regardless of the risk....may I open my arms to all that you have for me, but mostly, Lord, may I open my arms to You...that human and divine parcel of joy and love.

 And the clock strikes twelve and the music plays and you enter in and my heart feels fuller and more alive...cause You're here, and we've been waiting for You!

And this is my attempt, my way of shouting it on the mountain top that Christ is born....let earth receive Her king!